My Name Is Dirt

Directed by B.J. Nelson
Starring: Danny Masterson, David Faustino, David DeLuise, Julie Benz, Brion James, Jenna Jameson, Tim Thomerson, Anthony Michael Hall.
MPAA Rating: Not Rated

Review by Matt Heffernan
September 26, 1999

A few days ago, I received an email from a guy named B.J. Nelson. He wanted me to review his new film, but the only distribution he could get was on So, I had him send me a tape so that I could give him a much-needed review. Well, I told him it wouldn't necessarily be positive.

Danny Masterson ("That 70's Show") stars as Kurt "Dirt" Merchant, a young man who is fired from his mailroom position at a record company. He finds work as a summons server, eventually finding himself serving rock star Johnny Decay (Wade Carpenter). When he arrives, Johnny has overdosed, the needle still in his arm. The cops arrive, and determine it was a murder. Dirt is the prime suspect, so he has to solve the crime.

Throughout the film, many familiar faces pop up, including late character actor Brion James, in one of his last roles. Joining Masterson from the world of television are David Faustino ("Married with Children") and David DeLuise ("Jesse"). Even Tim Thomerson and Anthony Michael Hall show up, which begs the question: why?

There isn't anything redeeming, or even terribly entertaining about My Name Is Dirt. There isn't quite of enough sex to land it on Cinemax during the wee hours. Its camp appeal is limited, since the cast is mostly comprised of legitimate actors. Hall actually puts quite a lot into his role, which was probably the only remotely amusing part of the film. Otherwise, it's a wretched, tedious mess.

I really hope the best for Nelson. After all, he did reach out to me, and gave me quite a rare opportunity. He told me that "the Hollywood establishment shut us out". What he needs to remember is that even Hollywood has standards, low as they may be.

For more information, go to the Internet Movie Database:
Dirt Merchant (1999) (alternative title)

Update 12/3/2003: This film is no longer available on, but has been released on video after a brief run on Showtime in the wee, small hours.

Here's some merchandise for sale at
Dirt Merchant (1999) -- VHS
Dirt Merchant (1999) -- DVD Home
Review Archive
Video Pick of the Week
Guide to Star Ratings

Review © 1999 Matt Heffernan